There are so many ways we can be violent towards ourselves. One way we do this is when we repress or disconnect from our sexuality, perhaps out of fear, shame, some idealized spiritual goal, or due to sexual trauma. Forced celibacy, regardless of its intentions, can become an act of self-violence just as abusing our sexuality can. In our overly sexualized modern world, it is so tempting to expect a hell of a lot from sex or from its precursors such as porn or everyday flirting. Our sexuality then becomes another way we try to compansate for our unmet needs. A need to be wanted, a need for closeness and interpersonal warmth, a need for attention and reassurance. Need after need burdening our sexuality with the obligation to make us feel better or more secure leaves us emptied out and disappointed.
How would it be instead to come to sex already connected, already at peace within, already feeling secure? How would it be to allow sex to be a celebration of stillness and passion, connection and longing? Let's leave behind our repression and fantasies, our spiritual ambitions and tantric gimmicks and connect with our lovers in the simple beauty of the present moment where even the subtlest of movements is enough to awaken a thunder within and where our passion and lust are nothing other than peace and freedom in their most primal glory.