In somatic therapy sessions, I help my clients get in touch with themselves using role-plays, empty chair practices, by giving them unfinished sentences that they complete spontaneously, and by allowing them to express themselves freely in a truly respectful, safe, and supportive environment. 

Trauma is the wounding generated by an overwhelming experience in which we felt unsupported, lonely, and powerless. Just about every person on the planet carries at least some trauma. When we are not aware of our traumas, these wounds tend to create chronic anxiety, depression, worry, panic, perpetual feeling of helplessness and powerlessness, as well as deep shame and guilt. 

If you are like most people, your parents didn’t know how to make space for your emotions when you were a child. Each one of us got hurt, felt abandoned, rejected, unwanted, to different degrees, when we were a child. Each one of us felt jealous, resentful, and angry many times as children. These emotions (and wounding) don't disappear as we get older, but get buried deep down in our psyche.

The body, as the realm of the instinctual and the intuitive, as the level of feeling and sensing has always been unknown to the intellect. In much of our society today, the body is used merely as a means of transport for our heads and as a means to extract pleasure from what we can eat and drink as well as from sex.

Without healthy power, an open heart doesn’t have the necessary grounding and safety to let it dance freely and fully. Exploring our power includes deeply investigating and becoming genuinely curious about the impact of our behavior on others. This is the birth of true responsibility and maturity, born not out of a sense of burden or obligation, but out of genuine concern and mature love.

Have you ever felt desperate for attention? Have you ever craved company? Have you ever felt lonely even though you were surrounded by people? Have you ever felt powerless and hopeless? Getting to know the child in us very well is a major step in our maturation as human beings. The inner-child carries our early wounding as well as our precious, child-like qualities such as innocence and spontaneity, openness and joy.

Self-compassion can seem like a vague concept. There are many who believe it’s about doing what we want regardless of the consequences, confusing carelessness and rebelliousness with genuine self-love. The essence of self-compassion is being gentle with the part of us that is wounded. This is the child in us. Self-love is the profoundly empowering and humbling practice of accepting, caring for, and protecting our vulnerability and wounding.

Sophia adapted to her environment for reasons of pure survival by repressing how she actually felt. This is the only way she was able to get her needs met. Later in life, now an adult, she finds that she’s having a very hard time expressing herself when she is upset or angry. She automatically smiles and tries to please her partner in moments when she would rather express herself and make a request or say “no” to him.

Alex is a cheerful, happy-go-lucky guy. His friends describe him as “kind and thoughtful” and he describes himself as “a nice guy who loves to help people.”

How many times have you felt ashamed to show your emotions? How many times have you been put down for being “too sensitive” or “too emotional”? What if there is nothing wrong with what you feel. What if emotions are a lot more beautiful and important than you have ever thought.

Children have a lot of needs that need to be tended to for their optimal development: To be seen and honored for who they are, to know they are wanted and that they belong, to feel loved and cherished, and the list goes on. Unfortunately a lot of our needs don’t get fully met in childhood.